Thursday, March 26, 2020

Corona Diary - Monday 16th March to Thursday March 26th, 2020


A preamble:  it seems that many have time on their hands and are short of reading material.  I hope some might find this of interest.  There is some medicine, some history, a timeline, and some trivia.  If anybody finds any mistakes or errors please notify me and I will modify.

CORONA DIARY

16th March, 2020

A bit late onto this topic, but nonetheless there is still much to write about.

In around 1970 or 1971, as we sat in the small lecture theatre at University College Hospital (before the Clore lecture theatre was built), in the old University Street building, lectures were given on microbiology.  The Professor of Virology (I can’t remember his name, though I can picture him, a slightly overweight individual, gentle manner, grey eyes, probably had significant underlying coronary artery disease in retrospect) gave us lectures on basic virology, and we all went out and bought the Jawetz paperback textbook 'Review of Medical Microbiology'.  One thing was drilled into us while we were discussing influenza.  The history of the original major pandemic, also called ‘Spanish Flu’, a disease which swept the whole world and caused 50 million deaths was rehearsed, and we even conducted an experiment using one of its deadly products, a surface protein called ‘haemagglutinin’ in the test tube.  This demonstrated unequivocally that red blood cells were agglutinated – clumped together, blocking blood vessels and impairing oxygen transport.  But the one clear message was – the next pandemic is a case of ‘when’ and not ‘if’.  Subsequent to 1918/19 we have had several more major outbreaks, the 1957 ‘Asian’ flu; the 1968 ‘Hong Kong flu’; the 2009 ‘Swine Flu’ epidemic.  Back then we were told that the virus probably originated in Asia, and that the reservoirs were most probably in pigs, although it was clear that the original and most fatal virus was probably of avian origin.  All of this was quite prescient at the time, and recently I have mused that it is sad that these Professors are not around now to enjoy the fascinating events that are now unfolding with coronavirus.  There hasn’t been any mention of what if any superinfection is occurring in the lungs of affected patients.  We’ve seen some of the X-rays which do indeed look very nasty.  In earlier epidemics it was acute staphylococcal pneumonia, but nobody seems to have mentioned this this time around.  A consultant I worked for in Nottingham told me that they had a protocol in 1968 – any young person admitted with flu and respiratory symptoms was given immediate IV flucloxacillin, an antistaphylococcal penicillin which only came into use in the 1960s.  A feature of classic flu was the deaths of healthy young men – possibly due to dramatic hyperresponsiveness of the immune system to viral antigens.  Doctors in 1919 reported young people being well at breakfast time and dead by teatime.  A remarkably scary scenario.

Opinions seem to differ on why it was called Spanish Flu.  The answer seems to be that there was severe censorship and news blackouts in the countries engaged in fighting the first world war, and that the first cases were reported from Spain.  Almost certainly however, the virus jumped from birds to mammals (probably pigs) and after transformation, infected humans sometime around and after 1910.  Again, the source was probably China, though it may not have been.  The first cases, at least the first recorded cases, were in Kansas.

Influenza viruses differ from the Corona virus, though they are both single stranded RNA viruses.  Corona is able to serve both as Messenger RNA and as a genome.  In simple terms they use the cell’s own synthetic machinery to manufacture, first, copies of themselves, and then proteins.  Otherwise, their common factor is that they spread through person to person contact; droplets; probably faecal; and what microbiologists love to call ‘fomites’.  This was certainly a new word to us medical students at the time, but essentially it means microscopic transmission mechanisms – particles from skin, dirt from clothing, from fingernails, items that we have handled.  Fomites are inanimate objects that can transmit the organism or virus causing disease.

As of this date we have come a long way from these early reports from Wuhan, a city in Hubei province, China, sometime in January.  The earliest infection seems to have been recorded in November 2019.  Inititally, as you will all know, China tried to suppress this ‘bad news’ story, and the widespread dissemination became apparent just before Chinese New Year, a time when Chinese people everywhere migrate to celebrate with family and loved ones.  By the time the New Year celebrations were cancelled it was probably already too late.

Having started the ball rolling, the Chinese authorities were nonetheless quick to type, and genetically sequence the virus.  Only South Korea seems to have acted with precipitous speed in preparing an antibody test which was rapidly rolled out to enable widespread testing.

March 22nd

Strange sort of Mother’s Day – what would we do without mobiles, Skype, Facetime etc?  But when Natalie’s Mother’s Day card for Lindsay was slipped through the letterbox yesterday it felt to me like the parcel of silks from London arriving in Eyam in the plague year 1666 (see ‘The Year of Wonders’, superb novel about the events of the bubonic plague in Eyam, and their decision, prompted by the vicar, to self-isolate.  The fatal plague bacterium arrives in Eyam in fleas inhabiting a parcel of fabric from London).

Most of my concerns have now been echoed.  The UK, like quite a few countries, is behind with testing.  A colleague currently in practice points out that it is not quite as simple as that.  It’s pretty easy to identify a Covid patient who needs hospitalisation (I’m thinking of buying my own oxygen saturation monitor), but it’s not easy to identify NHS people who are ill and haven’t recovered – are they still shedding virus?  On the other hand, it’s clear that many people are ill (or say they are) and are not being tested fast enough.  The turnaround time has gone up because of demand.  In the near future it may be that there will be an antibody test so that we can know if somebody has got it and is a risk (IgM – acute phase immunoglobulin) or has had it and has recovered (IgG only).  There is a generalised cry from hospitals that PPE (Personal Protection Equipment) is not being rolled out fast enough, and there was a weepy ICU nurse on TV saying that there was nothing at the supermarket after she had finished a 48 hour shift.  Irrespective of the veracity of that work pattern, she doesn’t seem to have thought of e.g. buying frozen fruit, or thought ahead properly.

The UK has been roundly criticised by other countries for not taking this pandemic seriously.  Its stepwise response seems reasonable to me however.  Every day Boris Johnson appears at a 5pm press conference flanked by Sir Patrick Vallance, Chief Scientific Adviser, and by Professor Chris Whitty, Chief Medical Adviser.  They are dispassionate and clear cut in their answers.  Surely a ‘K’ in the pipeline for Chris Whitty if we get through this.

In the meantime, one local doctor has a Lord High Executioner type list of some hospital consultants whom one might call ‘Flaky’, and it’s interesting that virtually all of them are now ‘self-isolating’ at home for one reason or another.  This contrasts that with my own feeling that I should be in there and helping, and in some ways wish I could be (nothing from the GMC just yet – but maybe I missed the cut; too old; retired too long ago (three and a half years), and maybe others have been called upon.  I don’t know whether to be sad or pleased about this…  I sometimes reflect on the generations of doctors before us who have practised at some time after 1919 who haven’t experienced a true worldwide pandemic.  It’s new for everybody.  Pandemic planning apparently took place in 2013 – how wrong they got it.  On every level, not least financial, with the paralysis of the systems of production.

It's interesting, after two months, to look at how we have responded to the spread of Covid-19.  Here is a timeline, some of this taken from The Independent, some my own:

Wednesday January 22nd 2020

Public Health England, responding to the news of an explosion of cases in Wuhan, moves its risk level to the British Public from Very Low to Low.  Heathrow starts to screen all arrivals from Wuhan

Wednesday January 29th
UK’s first two patients are identified.  Two Chinese nationals staying at a hotel in York become ill.  A plane carrying British nationals from Wuhan arrives at Brize Norton and passengers go into 14 day quarantine in Merseyside.  This sort of activity is regarded as a curiosity and we no longer think about it now (late March) that the virus is well and truly in UK.

Thursday 6th February
Britain’s third patient who has been at a conference in Singapore is identified.  This 53 year old is said to be a super spreader, linked with a total of 11 cases, five of which are in the UK

Monday 10th February
Health Secretary gives doctors strengthened powers to detain and quarantine people.

Sunday 23rd February
The Diamond Princess is quarantined off the coast of Japan.  A failure to rapidly evacuate passengers gives it the status of a virus incubator.  Four British nationals are repatriated but are infected.

Friday 28th February
First British death (a passenger on board the Diamond Princess).
Stock Market crashes.

Wednesday 4th March
Surge of Covid-19 in the UK.  Biggest one day increase – 34 – brings total to 87.  Possible shutdown of Parliament discussed.  Italy announces shutdown of schools and universities in response to evidence that it is the worst affected European country.  Virus has reached 81 countries; 90,000 confirmed cases; over 3000 deaths.  Significant problem with skiers returning from half term holidays in Northern Italy.

Thursday 5th March
70 plus year old woman first person to die in UK from the disease.  Now over 100 infected in UK.

Tuesday 10th March
Nadine Dorries, Junior Health Minister confirmed positive for Covid-19.  Six total deaths in UK, 373 tested positive.

Wednesday 11th March
WHO announces this is a pandemic.
Chancellor Mr Sunak announces £12bn aid package to help UK cope with financial implications.

Friday 13th March
Confirmed UK cases of coronavirus rise by more than 200 in a single day.  London Marathon postponed; Premier League football fixtures cancelled.

Sunday 15th March
UK cases pass 1000.  Health Secretary warns of long duration quarantine for the elderly.  Alarm at escalating panic buying in supermarkets.

Monday 16th March
First PM’s daily press briefing.  Flanked by Chris Whitty, Chief Medical Officer, and Sir Patrick Valance, Chief Scientific Adviser.  People urged to work from home and avoid pubs and restaurants.  Whitty and Valance quietly and calmly impressive.

Tuesday 17th March
Mr Sunak announces additional aid; loans, tax cuts, and grants amounting to £330bn package.  Sir Patrick Vallance announces that as many as 55,000 people may now be infected and a ‘good outcome’ would be if deaths in UK can be below 20,000.

Wednesday 18th March
Government announces that most schools will close from Friday.  Key workers’ children may continue to attend.

Thursday 19th March
Numbers of deaths in UK up to 144, a rise of 40% in a day.  3269 confirmed cases in UK.  Sir Patrick Vallance advises against socialising in pubs and clubs.

Friday 20th March
Historic escalation.  Pubs, restaurants, gyms, other social venues must close.  Chancellor announces that up to 80% of wages will be met by the Government.  Guidelines will be issued to doctors to prioritise who to save in the event of shortage of beds or ventilators.  Some schadenfreude when one hears that the EU Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier has Covid-19.  Apparently (from his Twitter page) ‘doing well.’

Saturday 21st March
Historic deal with private hospitals.  They will be taken over to care for Covid-19 patients.  UK deaths over 230; cases (known) over 4000.  World figures 270,000 cases, over 11,000 deaths.  Decide no point in drinking bad wine: open bottle of Bakestone Cellars Californian cabernet.  It was Jane MacQuitty who I first heard use the phrase ‘Life is too short to drink bad wine’ but I suspect, knowing Jane, a great self-publicist, that it was not original.

Monday 23rd March
No 5pm briefing due to COBRA (Cabinet Office Briefing Room A – where crisis response meetings take place) meeting.  At 8.30pm, Boris Johnson announces that isolation will now take place.  All non-essential businesses must close.  This follows a weekend of beautiful weather when huge flocks of people congregate on beaches and in public parks.  West Wittering car park closes after 2,500 cars turn up.  Only workers unable to work from home must now travel.  Fines will be imposed.  One period of exercise per day – away from other people.  This is often difficult for some.

Tuesday 24th March
This is our first day of isolation.  Building at Crichel Mount Road allowed to continue, thank heavens.  Selfish but as our builder says, there will be huge pressure not to stop the construction industry because so many workers are self-employed.  Golf club send e mail to say that course is closed until further advice can be given.  We are allowed out for one period of exercise per day.  Beautiful sunny weather continues.  Friend starts a virtual WhatsApp wine tasting group.  7 Brunstead Place film club have now watched ‘The Go-Between’ and ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.  We failed to watch ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ last night because it lasts 3hrs 38minutes.





24th March 2020

A parenthesis.  Julie Burchill has written a wonderful article in the Sunday Telegraph today.  I must quote some of it because most journalism is ephemeral – that’s why journalists remain employed!  The clue is in the origin of the name.

But firstly, I don’t know if you, like me, feel a slight sense of unease with these talking heads of workers in the health service addressing you in the sort of ‘we’re here for you’ type of broadcasts.  They’re a bit like Party Political Broadcasts.  The majority of workers just carry on, head down, doing it.  ‘We do what we do’ is a truism.  I got tired of the clip of the weepy nurse crying because the shops were empty after she had finished a ’48 hour shift’.  Sorry, I don’t believe she worked that continuously.  Turns out she is vegetarian.  She obviously hadn’t thought ahead to buy some frozen veg or fruit (plenty available).  ‘Stop it, just stop it.’  She pleaded.  Without going into details, just to take the example of stockpiling toilet paper, for thousands of years humans coped without toilet paper…  Get my drift?  Another tedious news item was various celebrities, most of whom I didn’t recognise, singing (from isolation in their multi-million dollar Malibu properties), a line from John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’; a song that I have also always been uneasy about (see below).  This was one thing that stimulated Julie to write.

And so: back to Julie.  I don’t think I can do it better than to quote her:

…’It could be worse: Smith could have joined the other celebrities treating us to their own stardust-sprinkled version of the ghastly John Lennon song Imagine.

I’ve had “issues” with this song forever, summing up perfectly as it does Lennon’s weapons-grade hypocrisy.  While encouraging hoi polloi to “imagine no possessions”, he and his consort kept a whole apartment in the Dakota building where they lived in New York for the exclusive occupation of their fur coats, just to keep them at the right temperature.  Elton John nailed it in his autobiography: “The various apartments the Lennons owned… were so full of priceless artworks, antiques and clothes that I once sent them a card, rewriting the lyrics to Imagine:  Imagine six apartments, it isn’t hard to do, one is full of fur coats, another’s full of shoes.”

In fact, Lennon was forever ready to take his non-specific rage out on someone, provided, of course, that that person was powerless.  In his actions – as opposed to his statements and his songs – he exhibited largely selfishness and spite during his time on earth.

…But scratch a showboating altruist and you’ll often find an attention-whore; I know, because I’m one.  I get to show off in print and I’m good at it, but performers in other areas can’t do their thing alone.  It’s driving them nuts that no one’s looking at them, hence Michelle Pfeiffer posted a video of herself working out, while Bob Geldof rang up a TV show to announce his own self-isolation.

It’s touching to look at celebrities and see how unconscious they are of their vulnerability; George Michael, who knew about these things, once defined a star as “someone with a little something missing, rather than a little something extra”.

They need their fans – but their fans do not need them, although they may momentarily enjoy their singing voices or good looks.  When the famous attempt to parlay this passing fancy into actual power, it falls flat; each time a celebrity urged people not to vote for Trump or Brexit, it seems they caused another thousand to do so.

And they will be heeded less than ever as we plunge deeper into the plague year.  Gadot said that she had been inspired by the Italian videos of neighbours singing to each other on their balconies; ironically, it’s this development that shows how superfluous stars are.

It turns out that transcendence was just around the corner all along – and we don’t need to pay for it.  Like the tree falling in the metaphorical forest, when a star smiles and no “civilian” watches, does the star still feel happiness?

I’m sure we will see much more of them getting their flashing-fix in the guise of giving something to the Little People before we’re out from under lockdown.

But eventually even these most unrealistic of beings will realise that the achievements of the rich and famous count for nothing in a new world in which those who do the most arduous and thankless labour are – at long last – the most honoured.  We will look back in wonder that we once called dress designers, “visionaries” and disc jockeys “superstars”.

At a time singularly short of silver linings, this must be one.’

Fortunately, black humour abounds to cheer us up.  Some wag has announced that we are only three weeks away from discovering what women’s true hair colour is…

Wednesday March 25th.

Another beautiful sunny day.  Garden work, cleaning off furniture after a long wet winter.  Also cleaning windows.  Lindsay finds YouTube film of George Formby.  Further rise in cases and deaths.  Halfway through the morning comes the announcement that Prince Charles has tested positive for Corona virus, but has “mild symptoms.”  Wag posts picture of Charles and Camilla on Facebook laughing their heads off in highland attire at the Braemar gathering.  Byline is, “Elderly couple bring Corona virus to Scotland.  This irresponsible couple is thought to live in London and have a second home in the Highlands.”

Surprise – Charles symptomatic on Sunday, tested on Monday, given result on Tuesday.  Another wag says – “Why should you be tested if you’ve got symptoms?  There are lots of asymptomatic Hollywood stars who haven’t been tested yet.”

And while supermarkets provide special protected times for NHS staff to shop, a WhatsApp doing the rounds goes as follows: “I said to the Missus, ‘Come on Love, get this Nurse’s outfit on.’  She said; ‘What do you have in mind?’  I said, ‘Nothing, we need a loaf of bread.’”

Interview with Harry Redknap:  “Coro Naviras?  Yeah, ‘course I know ‘im.  T’rrific little player.”

Deaths as of yesterday in UK are 422.  Total confirmed cases 9529.  Likely number much higher due to lack of mildly symptomatic subjects being tested.  Over 82,000 cases tested but negative.  Still dramatic upsurge in the daily curve, nearly 1500 in last 24 hours.

Our 7 Brunstead Place film club has taken two evening to watch the David Lean film of Lawrence of Arabia.  Lindsay’s choice tomorrow.  After watching LoA I’m not entirely certain that the extraordinarily blond Peter O’ Toole was particularly good.  Many intense looks, amazing blue eyes, and dramatic received pronounciation (he came from Yorkshire and was once turned down at school for a date by Barbara Taylor Bradford when he propositioned her with ‘Eh Luv, would ya laik to go t’Pictures).  Gregory Peck in ‘To Kill a Mockingbird lost out to O’Toole when the 1962 Oscars came round.  A more rounded performance I feel.

Time for bed…

Thursday March 25th

I return to the subject of black humour.  The general public are often horrified by levity in the medical and nursing profession.  Many don’t realise that this is a coping mechanism, often necessary to defuse an unbearably awful situation.  It’s a truism that laughing and crying are remarkably close together in every sense.  “I laughed til I cried.”  Note the comment by Mark Twain; ‘The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow.  There is no humor in heaven.’

Even in the Nazi death camps, I was astonished to read of the jokes told themselves by inmates.  I first became aware of this when I visited the then new Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. in about 1982.  There was a library section entirely devoted to the black humour that many who were dying or went on to die created.  Those who wish can read a scholarly article by Whitney Carpenter entitled ‘Laughter in a time of tragedy: Examining humor during the holocaust.’  (Easily found in online search.  Warning: this is a serious article and is not for everybody.)

Enough.  Two little parentheses from yesterday:

There is concern for the Rwandan and Ugandan gorillas.  All reserves are off limits.  The reason?  Apparently their DNA is 98% the same as ours.  Food for thought.

It has emerged that the ski resort of Ischgl may have covered up an outbreak for weeks, allowing infected individuals to return to numerous European countries and spread Covid-19 before they admitted they had a problem.  It seems that the first cases in the UK were brought in by a skier who socialised in the ‘raucous’ Kitzloch bar and returned to infect the family and many others in East Sussex.

Another beautiful day.  Seems ironic.

One casualty of the ‘single daily exercise’.  My daughter Katie.  Tripped over a protruding flagstone while running by the Thames.  Severely bruised and a probably broken nose, but in view of the lack of deformity she didn’t go to A&E.  Wise.

Finally for today’s bulletin, a very interesting scientific observation from Holland.  Dutch public health scientists have been examining sewage effluents and extracting Coronavirus.  They think this may be a very good way of monitoring spread.  For example, high concentrations were found in the effluent from Schiphol airport.


Monday, March 16, 2020

Thoughts on the Present Discontents


As suggested by the title, Burke’s ‘Thoughts on the Present Discontents’ comes to mind, but the circumstances are somewhat different in 2020 to 1770.  Edmund Burke was however concerned by the undue influence of the Crown on Parliament, and updated to our age one could possibly substitute ‘EU’ for ‘Crown’.  I have a number of Remainer friends who would object to this but, hey, tough.

‘Tell me one good thing the Coronavirus has done for us?’

Well, that’s easy; where shall I start?  The Duke of York perhaps?  Brexit?  Megxit?  There are quite a few folk who are delighted to be off the front pages for once.

But first, some advice for friends (they know who they are):

Given H’s recent chest problems you would be well advised to remain in your remote bolt hole in Great Elm (a tiny village not far from Frome for those who don’t know) and self-isolate (which is not far removed from self-immolate, though perhaps a more sensible response until we know if we are all ‘doomed, doomed, I tell you.’)

Sunday 15th March 2020
At the moment we have lounged around at home all day, though following the Government’s advice not to cancel ordinary events we attended the evening quiz night at the Royal Motor Yacht Club on Saturday.  Daughter Katie had announced her intention to visit this weekend and despite a rather dire service from South Western Railways (3 different trains; a bus replacement service from Southampton) she did make it as far as Bournemouth where I picked her up.  There usually has to be a reason for Katie visiting and the ulterior motive here was discussion of the ‘hen do’ for her close friend Katrina.  Not having a better offer on Saturday evening, she graciously accompanied us to the dinner and quiz, and her 90s and 2000s knowledge came in handy occasionally (Spice Girls a specialist subject), such that we came a respectable third, only one point behind the joint winners, which we thought not bad with only three on our team, whereas most other tables had six or more.  Generously, other friends who were on a table of 7 said we should have won, but that’s because they are fans of the Green Party and Proportional Representation.  Sadly, we knew that the friends who came first had a ringer, who knows everything about sport, including the one we failed as to the winner of the Grand National in 1967, when numerous horses were impeded or brought down, and a 100-1 odds horse won the race, having been in 22nd place at Becher’s Brook.  (I will leave you to look it up – clue: mountain in the North of Scotland).

At the moment, the Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra concert on Wednesday 18th is scheduled to go ahead.  Given the average age of the audience, a single corona infectee could probably cause as much carnage as that loose horse in 1967, though in that race only one horse was euthanised and the BSO audience might well be decimated.  (The concert hall holds 1500 people; you do the math as the Americans say).

Last week we also ventured to the cinema in Poole Lighthouse, to see the recorded ‘live’ performance of Cyrano de Bergerac, starring James McAvoy.  Now this is a play I love, having first seen it at the Oxford Playhouse in about 1966 (I can’t recall the cast – do you have the programme MJW?).  Then in 1971 the excellent and rarely revived 1950 black and white Hollywood film with Jose Ferrer (he won an Academy award for it, and the play benefited from some truncation in the movie), and then a superb (NT?) production with Anthony Sher in the late 1990s.  The Gerard Depardieu movie is also a fine interpretation.  When next I see the film (I will probably have the time given the current corona situation) I will have to try hard not to visualise Gerard urinating in the aisle on aeroplanes as he has been wont to do in recent years).  Cyrano is certainly a sentimental fin de siรจcle piece, but I suppose I’m a sucker for that.  So it was with some reluctance that I agreed to go to this ‘new’ punchy version.  Punchy it certainly is.  I don’t think I have heard so many f and c words since my summer job in the kitchens of the University Arms Hotel in Cambridge.  It is also somewhat bizarre to see costumes which smack of the present day, no swords in evidence, and a broad Glasgow-accented title character.  But the performance by McAvoy is astounding, a true tour de force.  To imitate the lisping pathetic estuary English of Christian and then to revert to original Glaswegian in the same breath has something of the touch of a great ventriloquist about it.  It’s a performance that like the original Jonathan Pryce Hamlet at the Royal Court I’m glad to say I was there.  Hardly unique though – these cinema relays go to thousands around the world.

With regard to the ‘current difficulties’ as one might refer to the coronavirus, events are sadly being cancelled right left and centre.  Whether this will prove a needless exercise or not time will prove.  Of one thing, I am now sure.  The rational and logical discussion with the South Korean health minister (Sunday morning) on the Andrew Marr show indicates that by forgetting pretty much about testing people in the UK, we are missing a trick.  For example, my daughter has a flatmate, a teacher who returned from a school ski trip to Italy, became unwell and was tested.  She and my daughter were told to stay at home in their flat.  It took a whole week before they gave her the all clear.  What a huge and stupid loss of productivity.  If people who become unwell are not being tested but just told to stay home, when the majority of them could be tested and then allowed to go back to work seems crazy.

There has been talk of contacting retired doctors to ask them to help.  Having not received any approach from the General Medical Council I wrote to them to volunteer.  With some ‘hauteur’ they replied to say they didn’t recognise my e mail address (although I had given them my unique 7 figure registration number) and were not sure if I was genuine, and in any case they had no plans to do anything unless the Government invoked the Extraordinary Powers Act.  I pointed out that they might have been more proactive in at least checking with retired doctors whether they might feel able to help if called upon.  No response as yet…

Having rambled on, I return to the main impetus for the above writing:
‘Arlott, Swanton and the Soul of English Cricket’ by Stephen Fay and David Kynaston.  A Christmas present, which I had been reading in desultory fashion, and now the second half finished in an afternoon when I had otherwise more probably been engrossed in the TPC Championship from Sawgrass, Florida.  A ‘worthy book’, one might say, damning with faint praise.  It’s a little bit dry and I suspect it is only a book which somebody of my age would want to read.  You needed to have heard the two title characters in full flow to get the most out of the book.  To imagine those Arlott phrases once again with that unforgettable Hampshire accent brings back such happy childhood memories.  I smiled occasionally, but laughed aloud only twice.  Will I spoil it for you if I quote the passages?  Perhaps, but then you might not read it anyway.

Patrick Collins (on Arlott):
Although he was a kind man, he didn’t suffer foolishness.  I asked him about a fellow commentator who once set out to emulate Arlott by injecting colour into a county match with some absurdly florid language.  Unfortunately it was always the same phrase.  For instance he’d say: ‘The bowler trudges back to his mark as the sun sets slowly in the West.’   Later: ‘And that single takes Somerset to 153 for 2, as the field changes, and the sun sets slowly in the West.’   And later still: ‘The Essex attack continues to struggle, and the sun sets slowly in the West.  Now, over to John Arlott.’  And Arlott took the microphone and announced: ‘The sun is still slowly setting in the West.  And if it should start to set anywhere else, I’ll be the first to let you know.’

And Arlott’s cruel rhetorical question (said only in private): ‘Can you imagine what it must be like to write as much as Swanton did over so many years without leaving one memorable sentence?’  … and some truth also in John Warr’s witty description of Swanton’s writing style as ‘somewhere between the Ten Commandments and Enid Blyton.’

Let me know if any of my readers would like the book.  I’ve probably done it down a little too much and given the reversion to reading which we are now all going to do (feels like back to the 1950s again, doesn’t it?), you may very probably wish to read it.  Were it not for the virus I would probably be donning shorts and popping out to the library, with my three tickets clutched firmly in my hand, for whatever the shelves could throw at me.  On one memorable occasion – I must have been about 12, I returned from the library with an Arthur Ransome, Isaac Asimov’s book on ‘The World of Carbon’, and an autobiographical work by Salvador Dali.  The reason I remember this was my mother’s horror on turning the pages of the Dali book.  There was a section I remember dealing with certain bodily secretions and his wife Gala…

As a parenthesis, Asimov once said he knew how to distinguish chemists from non-chemists: ask a person to pronounce the word ‘Unionized’.  You can work it out for yourself.

Although I now live in Branksome rather than ‘Lake Wobegon’ I think you get the drift of a diary from someone with not that much else to do…